Author and speaker Dr. John A. King joins Jet Bunditwong for an honest conversation about trauma, masculinity, identity, isolation, and rebuilding a purposeful life. John shares lessons on acknowledging painful experiences, creating healthier support systems, developing discipline, and moving forward without shame. Learn more at https://drjohnaking.com.
Transcript note: This transcript was lightly formatted for readability. Speakers are Jet Bunditwong and John A. King.
Jet Bunditwong: Hi and welcome to The Personal Side of Business, where every business has a story. I'm your host, Jet Bunditwong. Today my guest is John A. King — someone who has been through an extraordinary personal journey, has done the work on himself, and is now giving others real, intentional tools for their life. John, welcome to the podcast.
John A. King: Good day mate, how are you? Nice to be here brother.
Jet Bunditwong: Thank you. And we are in Dallas. This is a great journey for me to be able to talk to you. I think we've been connecting for a few months and I was delighted to finally connect with you. I always ask at the beginning — how did we get here? Let’s try to capture it in a few minutes.
John A. King: Well, my doctorate is actually in theology. But I tell people it's about turning difficulty into fertilizer. Because I think that's really what I've done most of my life. There is no clear arc. People talk about business going on this trajectory, life going on this trajectory. But it's not until we come to a place of crisis that we realize this thing’s a mess. We're all working this out. How I got here is that I've been through a range of experiences that forged me into who I am. And that journey is still unfolding.
Jet Bunditwong: I don’t think there’s any way to capture your whole story in one podcast. When people get a chance, they should check out your story and what you’re doing. When people go through life traumas, rebuild themselves, and then help others — that’s remarkable. Let’s talk about the Phoenix Collective.
John A. King: I was raised in a very abusive environment. I was sexually abused and trafficked as a child. I had recall of that at 45. At that stage, I was earning three quarters of a million dollars a year, traveling the world, working with major nonprofit and for-profit organizations. Then I had recall of what happened — and it led to the total implosion of my life.
John A. King: People love to talk about the rescue side of anti-trafficking work. They don’t talk about recovery. From personal experience, recovery can take 10 to 15 years. I was fortunate to spend about $300,000 and 15 years getting well. The Phoenix Collective condenses that process so others don’t have to wander trying to piece it together.
Jet Bunditwong: There are two components I find interesting. One is when you seek help, sometimes the therapist hasn’t gone through what you’ve gone through. You have. How much value do you see in that?
John A. King: The therapist I met had a similar childhood. She just got me. The thought of explaining everything to someone without context wasn’t going to happen. It’s not the cause of trauma that bonds men — it’s the tools needed to overcome it. When men sit shoulder to shoulder with someone who gets it, that’s powerful.
Jet Bunditwong: I didn’t seek therapy until my early 40s. As I worked through things, I had better relationships. Do you see that?
John A. King: In my Indigenous culture, we talk about sitting with something — grief, stories, elders. When a man learns to sit with discomfort, it changes him. When you articulate grief, it’s like it washes off you instead of weighing you down.
Jet Bunditwong: Culture and upbringing affect how we deal with stress. In some cultures men are taught not to show weakness. How do you deal with that overlay?
John A. King: Women often resolve things face to face. Men resolve things shoulder to shoulder. You’ll learn more about a man in a deer stand than sometimes his family knows. There’s men as a culture — providers, protectors, directors, correctors — then Western overlay, then cultural overlay. I look for the 20% leverage point that impacts the rest.
Jet Bunditwong: What does it feel like when men come back and say you changed their lives?
John A. King: I love when they say, “I changed my life.” I don’t want dependency. I want empowerment. When a man gets awakened and wants to pay it forward, that’s everything.
Jet Bunditwong: Can you share one practical tool for trauma recovery?
John A. King: Yes. Go to bed at the same time every night. Wake up at the same time. Eat high protein. Get sunlight. Walk three to four times a week. Reduce screen time before bed. Hydrate. Go to the gym like it’s a prescription. That alone can resolve 50–60% of trauma symptoms.
John A. King: I teach 1% improvement. If you improve 1% a month, in eight years you revolutionize your life. We overestimate what we can do in 12 months and underestimate what we can do in 10 years.
Jet Bunditwong: You’ve talked about John 1.0, 2.0, and 3.0.
John A. King: John 1.0 was goal-driven and analytical. When I had recall, that was the end of him. John 2.0 had to discover who he actually was. I realized I didn’t like John 1.0. I masked my behavior my whole life to survive. John 2.0 is fanatically committed to authenticity. John 3.0 wants to be a writer.
Jet Bunditwong: Do age stages matter?
John A. King: In your 20s, you live from the outside in. In your 30s, you perform and save. In your 40s, it’s not a midlife crisis — it’s midlife realignment. Most men recall trauma between 35 and 45. Suicide among men is a pandemic because many have lived in a facade too long.
Jet Bunditwong: If men had communication tools earlier, would it change things?
John A. King: Yes. When men get together, they talk about their wives, their children, and how to be better men. But American men are incredibly lonely. They need shoulder-to-shoulder spaces.
Jet Bunditwong: I’ve had friends isolate and struggle deeply. How do we prevent that?
John A. King: Suicide isn’t cowardly. It can be calculated. On two occasions, my wife randomly called me when I was close to making a decision. When you feel prompted to text a friend — do it. You never know where they are.
Jet Bunditwong: Sometimes just hearing someone’s voice is enough.
John A. King: Exactly. I send my friends ridiculous duck pictures randomly. It makes them laugh. It says, “I care.” Men don’t always need deep therapy. They need presence.
Jet Bunditwong: What’s next for you?
John A. King: I secured a New York agent. My memoir is coming out. I’ve written fictional novels based on anti-trafficking investigations and military sexual trauma. John 3.0 wants to be a writer. The Phoenix Collective condenses 15 years and $300,000 into an accessible lifetime platform. We offer free masterclasses monthly. You reap what you sow. I want to sow into people’s lives.
Jet Bunditwong: Where can people find you?
John A. King: DrJohnAKing.com and phoenixcollective.app. We’d love to connect.
Jet Bunditwong: Thank you, John. There’s no way to capture everything you’ve been through in one episode. I’d love to reconnect after your next book release.
John A. King: We’ll do a virtual book tour. I’d love that.
Jet Bunditwong: Thank you very much, John. And this is The Personal Side of Business.
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